Could We Have Like Five Minutes Alone With Our Baby?

For the last nine months, a pregnant woman has had a living creature growing inside of her. She has had inquiries into every single aspect of her life. Doctors have been probing at her. People have been touching her stomach. Then comes the big finish: Delivery! That is the least private event of all. The spectators (nurses, neonatologist for high-risk babies, spouses and possibly family) are in a very small room cheering her on. And then the baby comes. 

Now she can sleep, right? The baby is hopefully resting its perfect little head on her. Maybe she takes a shower. There is finally food.

Could We Have Like Five Minutes Alone With Our Baby!

Eat. Snuggle. Snooze. Eat. Snuggle. Snooze. Sounds like heaven until she realizes that there is no rest for the weary. The nurses are checking in to make sure she is doing well. The doctor pops in. The lactation counselors come in whether it is breast or bottle they come. There is zero privacy and her lady bits are still the topic of conversation. 

While there are people who are so excited to show off their beautiful miracle before the sleep deprivation and crippling nipple pain set in, there are also those who just want to breathe in that fresh baby head all by themselves while someone else is in charge of things like dinner and laundry.

Regardless of which camp a new mother falls into she does not have to rationalize it. There is nothing rational about the first few years after giving birth. The overwhelming flood of requests to visit while a new mother is trying to rest are tricky to navigate. That is why having a plan in place is important. Much like you made plans to get to the hospital, what to pack, epidural or no this is something you can plan for. If you have used to make these important decisions and learn all there is to know from their courses this is easy.

Things to remember:

  • You can decide that you want all of the people after the baby is born and then change your mind. The reverse is also true.
  • This is your baby but the nurses can totally act as bouncers.
  • This is a digital age and you can post a picture of you and baby with a big caption that says something to the effect of “We will see you when we get out guys”. Something cute but to the point.
  • There is a call button and you can have a nurse come in and politely bounce someone.
  • There is no right or wrong way to introduce your baby to just your family or to the world. 
  • If someone does come to visit, “I need to sleep” are magic words. Even if you are just going to get on your phone and scroll Facebook until it is time for baby to eat.

On a very serious note: One rationale for someone not wanting everyone to rush to the hospital could also be that things did not go according to plan. Always respect a mother’s choice on the topic of visitors.

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